The Terrifying Power of “Nope”

An encounter with a repairman put our country’s struggles into clear focus.

I recently called a refrigerator repairman to come take a look at our fridge that’s not cooling properly. We got through all the pleasantries and details pretty quickly. Then he said he’d be able to come over in about an hour.

“Great!” I said, relieved to hopefully get the persistent problem behind us. No one needs to deal with a broken fridge while being encouraged to stay home for all meals.

The repairman gave me an idea of the cost of his visit and said he’d call when he was officially on his way. I almost thanked him and hung up. However, it dawned on me that I should check on something important first.

“You’ll wear a mask when you come in the house, right?” I asked, just to make sure.

“Nope,” he said simply. Defiantly.

“Nope,” he replied again. So final. No questions. Just “nope.”

“That won’t work then,” I said, and then I hung up, fuming.

If that interaction isn’t the perfect metaphor for what we’re going through in this country, I don’t know what is.

Nope.

Do you have any questions about the people you may be affecting in my household if you don’t protect us by wearing a mask? Nope.

Would you even consider covering your face because it will make your paying customer feel safe? Nope.

Do. You. Care. About. Anyone. Else. At. All. About anyone other than yourself? NOPE. Loud and clear.

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It is completely beyond me how people can walk, nay, saunter, through life without thinking twice about anyone other than themselves. 

Black Lives Matter. Nope. All Lives Matter.

Do you have any questions? Do you want to know why I feel that way, or why the term you’ve used is offensive? Nope.

Do you understand that by refusing to say that my life matters, you’re completely negating my pain and my experience? Do you understand that I now live in fear because I see more and more people everyday who simply refuse to care enough to question, discuss, listen, or open their hearts? Nope.

Do you have any concern for my safety whatsoever? Nope.

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“Nope” is unapologetic. “Nope” is an answer you give when there is no leeway. And that is why the attitude of “nope” both infuriates me and terrifies me at the same time. It’s the attitude of people who refuse to open themselves up to learning and of people who refuse to acknowledge that they may be wrong.

I’m an empathetic person. I am always trying to see things from other people’s perspectives. I am always soaking up other people’s feelings and processing them as though they are my own. But being empathetic with someone like our favorite refrigerator repairman is an impossible feat. How can you empathize with someone who allows no way in? How can you empathize with someone who allows no room for thoughts, feelings or facts?

The most terrifying thing about “nope” is that it’s highly contagious. People who may have once quietly said “no, thank you” can proudly say “nope” without fear or guilt. Put one “nope” person in charge and you give masses of people permission to build up their own walls of “nope”.

There is systemic racism in the United States, and it is what our very country is built upon.

Nope.

The LGBTQ+ community has lived in fear for the past 4 years of the completely real possibility of their human rights and freedoms being taken away.

Nope.

Our president is a racist, narcissistic bully who throws gasoline on every hatred-based fire. I feel threatened and personally victimized by his presence in office every single day.

Nope.

Joe Biden won the 2020 election by a wide majority, and there is absolutely no evidence of election fraud.

Nope.

There is a virus ravaging our world and we have to do our part to keep it at bay to save hundreds of thousands of lives.

Nope.

Will you consider wearing a mask to keep me safe while I pay you money to repair my fridge?

Nope.