Where’s the Adult In the Room?

I feel like I’m always looking for the adult in the room. Who’s with me?

I’m always looking for the voice that will validate my next step. Should I speak up, or stay quiet? Is this story worth sharing? Will people in my life think less of me if I stop making them comfortable and start speaking uncomfortable truths? Where’s the adult in the room who will tell me that I’m doing the “right” thing in any given moment?

Whenever I feel the urge to speak up or speak out about anything, I always feel like I need to check with someone first. I wish I knew why that was. My advice to anyone else struggling to find the adult in the room is always, “trust yourself!” But for so many reasons that I’m currently exploring, I find trusting myself so incredibly difficult.

All too often, I find myself scrolling social media, on a quest to find the words that will validate my thoughts on any given topic. It’s like I’m on the hunt for the post or meme that will make me say, “Yes! That!” Sometimes when I’m reading a book that feels close to home, I just hold my breath in anticipation of a passage that will knock me out with tangible truth. There it is. That’s what I’ve been trying to say.

Whether I’m aware of it or not, I’m on the constant lookout for words that will tell me I’m not alone and that my feelings are valid.

So oftentimes, I plunge into an endless social media scroll session and come back up feeling emptier than when I started. Where are the words that will make me feel seen? Where are the words that will empower me to finally speak my mind?

Then one day recently, it hit me. Maybe the words that I’m looking for haven’t been said yet. Maybe I’m the one who needs to say them. Maybe it’s time to stop asking if it’s okay that I speak them.

Maybe it’s time to become the adult in the room.